He weeps with me
I don’t like being alone.
Now, I know that might sound a little funny coming from me, because there are definitely moments when I do dream about being alone. I mean…give me a quiet house, a cup of coffee, my Bible, and nobody asking me where their shoes are, and I’m a happy woman.
But there’s a big difference between choosing to be alone and feeling alone.
When something hard happens, I don’t want to be alone.
When the doctor gives news I wasn’t expecting…. when a dream I’ve prayed about doesn’t happen…when someone I love is hurting…when my heart gets broken…or when life simply doesn’t turn out the way I thought it would I really don’t want someone to pat me on the shoulder and say, “Well, Beth, just remember….God has a plan!”
Because I already know He does.
I know He is faithful, and loving, and that His plan is bigger and better than anything I can imagine. I can probably even quote all kinds of scriptures about it.
But when I’m hurting, and feel devastated for whatever reason, I just might need somebody to sit beside me for a minute before we talk about the plan.
And this is one of the reasons I love John 11:35 so much.
All that verse says is, “Jesus wept.” Two words. That’s it.
Jesus knew Lazarus was going to walk out of that tomb. He knew the miracle was coming. He knew the story wasn’t ending with death. He knew better days were ahead.
And still… John 11:35 tells us, He wept.
That gets me every time.
Because sometimes I think that if I really believe that Jesus is good and that He promises everything is going to be okay….and if I just trust him enough….then I shouldn’t be sad right now.
But I think that’s why John 11:35 is included in scripture…because in that short little verse, Jesus shows us something different. That one little verse, tucked into an extremely chaotic moment, shows us that Jesus doesn’t always rush into our pain with an explanation. Sometimes He simply sits with us in it.
Lazarus had died, Martha and Mary were brokenhearted, and Jesus didn’t respond by saying, “Now ladies, just calm down. I need you both to just take a deep breath and watch…. trust me, you’re going to love what happens next.”
No. That’s not at all what happened. They came to him with all their frustration, brokenness, and heartache….and Jesus stopped and wept with them.
Jesus knew the miracle was coming, but He still didn’t minimize the pain they felt in that moment.
I am so grateful for that kind of God.
Because hard things happen. People get sick. Relationships break. Prayers seem unanswered. Dreams get crushed. Doors close that we were certain God was going to open, and sometimes we find ourselves standing in a place we never expected to be, wondering, God, where are You?
Sometimes Jesus moves and does something miraculous right away. And boy am I grateful when that happens.
…But sometimes He doesn’t.
Sometimes the cancer diagnosis shows up in the middle of an already extremely hard season. Sometimes the prodigal child doesn’t immediately come home. Sometimes the marriage doesn’t immediately heal, even after working really hard at it. Sometimes the dream really does die.
And sometimes, before Jesus changes the circumstance, He changes something much more personal: He sits down beside us.
He lets us cry.
He holds us while we hurt.
He reminds us that we don't have to carry this pain by ourselves.
And maybe that’s the miracle we miss.
The circumstance may not have changed, yet. The answer may not have come, yet. The tears may still be falling, but suddenly, we realize we aren't crying by ourselves anymore. Instead, the God who already knows the ending is willing to enter right smack dab in the middle with us.
I love that about Jesus.
He doesn’t stand at a distance and say, “I know how this turns out, so just relax -- you’re going to be fine.”
No. Our Jesus comes close. He gets down with us in the mess. He feels what we feel, and He sometimes cries with us.
And eventually…in the midst of our heartache, brokenness, disappointment, and whatever else we’re feeling…He reminds us that this isn’t the end of the story.
Sweet friend…maybe you’re in a John 11 season right now.
Maybe you're waiting on a miracle. Maybe you’ve been begging for one for a long time and the situation just got even worse. Maybe you're disappointed, or just feeling exhausted from being strong for so long. Maybe you're carrying something you never thought you would have to carry.
Please hear me when I say you don't have to pretend it doesn't hurt just because you know and believe God is good.
That’s the beautiful message John 11 gives us…. John 11:35 says it’s okay to cry. It’s okay to sometimes yell and scream and ask God all the questions. It’s okay to be frustrated that He hasn’t shown up sooner, and it’s okay to wonder what is taking Him so long.
You’re allowed to admit, “Jesus, this one really hurts.”
But then…once you do…let Him come close.
Because sometimes faith doesn't look like standing up and declaring that everything is going to be okay. Sometimes faith looks like sitting in the midst of your brokenness and letting Jesus put His loving arms around you.
He may not always remove the pain immediately, but His promise is that he will never ask you to experience it alone…and what an incredible promise that is.
The Jesus who knows that better days are coming is the same Jesus who sits beside us in the hard days.
He knows the ending. He knows the miracle. He knows the resurrection is coming, but He also knows that your tears are extremely real right now, and He cares deeply about every single one of them.
Psalm 56:8 says he actually collects all of our tears, remembering every moment our hearts have been broken, all because He cares so deeply about us.
So if you're hurting today, don't rush past it. Don't feel guilty for crying. Don't think your sadness means your faith is weak.
Just scoot a little closer to Jesus.
Let Him sit with you. Let Him hold you. Let Him hug you tight, and just remember that you have a God who sits with you in it, and you are not sitting there hurting, all alone.
Jesus is with you… So let him wrap His arms around you and hold you close.